Friday, June 24, 2011


Worked out again this morning... but I have to admit, I stretched the doctor's recommendation just a little. I did the treadmill again - at 3.0 mph which never seems like anything, but hey, I'm moving, right?! While I do the treadmill, Elizabeth does the elliptical. We did this for 30mins. THEN we switched!!  Yup, I got on the elliptical for 15mins... woohoo!

I did NOT push it. I was going slow. I kept the ramp down. I held onto the stationary rails (we don't have the moving arms) and I felt it! Boy oh boy, we are dying to get back to running. We keep talking about it. I have my follow-up with the doctor in less than a week. I am wishing, and hoping, and thinking and praying that he will clear me!

I know, I know. it's only been 17days, but I feel perfectly fine. No pain. No digestive issues. No anything!! I am fine... hear that, Doc?? Let me RUN!

I am soo signing up for the Spooner 10K this year. I canNOT wait to complete my first 10K and then I will be conquering the New Bedford Half Marathon. Yes, I might die. BUT a girl needs a goal and 2 chubby chicks can do anything... lmao :)

Monday, June 20, 2011

2 Weeks!

Tomorrow make 2 weeks following the surgery to remove my gallbladder. I feel good.

I thought I tore something the other day when I sneezed.

Now, I feel better.

BUT - now I have this stupid itchy rash... that the doctor says sounds unrelated to the surgery. YAY!

Man, oh man. I can't wait to run!!! I want to run and run and RUN!! I want to finish the 100 miles... hehe :)

I have a list of things to do this summer but I've decided that the biggest thing is to have fun!! I have to figure out how to stop eating the stupid things I've been eating!! UGH... I swear, I'm so excited that I'm not having pain anymore with food, that I've been trying EVERYTHING that used to cause pain. I mean, seriously, I have had Ben and Jerry's, mixed drinks, fried foods, whatever I feel like.

This is definitely not the way back to the healthy lifestyle I was aiming for. I've decided that I will be making small changes this week and gradually returning to the good life. Next week,  I will returning to my weekly WW meetings. Next week, I will hopefully be given the OK to start jogging. Next week, I should be able to start doing normal stuff again - even lifting more than 20lbs!! woohoo.

But RIGHT NOW... I have to stop eating like crap. It's something that I can do! It's an achievable goal. It's something that will improve the way I feel. The way I look. The way I experience life.

So why is it so hard??

Friday, June 10, 2011

Thinking Back...

I haven't been on the computer much this week since the surgery. I was too drugged (me and my 1/2 a pill) or too tired laying on the couch, or just too damn lazy to just read anything. But today I got up started catching up on some of the blogs I read. One of the blogs I've recently started to follow is The Anti-Jared. He is very similar to my husband in many ways and I love the passion in his words.

Today he wrote about another blogger's post and it was soo interesting to me. This is what he copied:

Last week, she asked a question…..
What do you think… what do you *honestly* think… when you see a very obese mother with her very obese young child? What do you think? Do you make any assumptions? How do you feel towards the mother? Towards the child?

I thought about it for a minute and I felt a little sad. I think that I would feel bad for the mom. I've been obese. Actually, at my current size 10, 160 lbs, I'm still technically obese by BMI standards. Although, most people, especially those who've known throughout my journey feel that I look healthy and should be proud of my accomplishments, I'm still worried everyday when I get dressed.

I get a twinge of fear when I am folding my clothes and they look too small for me to possibly fit into them and I'm amazed each time that I pull one on and it isn't bulging. I'm afraid that I will pass that awful pain of being overweight to my children.

I hate the stages that they go through when the first grow "out" then "up". I'm constantly comparing my daughters to their classmates hoping that they never become the 'big girl" that I was. I've had conversations about eating in moderation. Discussing healthy snacks and choices. Trying to workout out and play with my kids to get them excited and active, but it scares me.

I remember my mom putting me into modeling school in 8th grade. I was 141lbs and maybe about 5 feet tall. That was the year that I started my slim-fast diet. I would bring a thermos to school each day and say that I was just drinking chocolate milk and that I would eat when I got home. It worked. I was down to 126lbs and looking pretty cute... even got myself a boyfriend. lol

I remember Terry - the program director- telling me I still had to get down to 108. There was no way! I was already down to an 8 and I am not a small framed girl no matter how you looked at it. It was never enough. When I got to high school, I stopped the Slim-Fast and the 7day diet that had me eating spinach salad, and a cup of cottage cheese with 6 saltine crackers. Or even dry tuna fish on a piece of dry toast. Aren't you tempted to try this one??? I was 13 yrs old!!

I was up to 162 lbs by the time I graduated high school and then I started working out with my brother. I was running, lifting, sprinting, plyometrics, all the good stuff and lost almost 20lbs before entering undergrad. I was once again, HOT. I scored another boyfriend and once again, started my journey back up to 160lbs.I was still comfortable because he loved me and no one ever said anything.

When we broke up, I spent all of my time in the gym - studying, avoiding the dining the hall, trying not to just sleep the day away. I lost the weight and we started dating again. Damn it! Then I stopped going to the gym, started eating again, and building up to 160lbs - when I graduated I was 164lbs. Isn't it amazing I can tell you all of these weights?!?! I remember them all... they are burned into my brain.

I graduated grad school a whooping 181lbs and met my hubby when I was 185. Now, I wasn't trying to impress. On our first date, I wore my overalls with a t-shirt that had a pocket on my chest big enough for a quarter. But he loved me... instantly :)

He was a chef and in that first year I gained 35 lbs!

It's embarrassing now to think about it. I can remember ordering my dress for my brother's wedding and calling my SIL and telling her that they charged my for a plus size dress even though I wasn't that big. I can only imagine what she was thinking on the other side of the phone.

I remember feeling angry that these people were trying to make me bigger than I was. What was I thinking?? I was over 200 lbs and couldn't see how big I was. 

I remember about this time, my husband (soon to be, at the time) and I were walking to the Chinese Restaurant near our apartment and a car drove by and someone shouted out the window "Fat Asses!!". I was hurt and embarrassed, but never said anything. I pretended like I hadn't heard them.

6 months later it was my turn to get married. We had decided on a Medieval Wedding, which was great. I had my grandmother make my dress and it was beautiful. It was satin and velvet and layers upon layers. It was a BIG dress! 

I'm still so sad that I was never able to try dresses on for my wedding. I wanted to have her make it and I found the perfect one, but I think I was always afraid to not fit into any. I never got the opportunity to have people ooohhh and aaahhh. I never got to have the girls go with me to try to help find the right one. 

I don't get much joy looking at my pictures anymore. I look and see the memories and LOVE that feeling, but I feel bad for the girl I see when I look at me. 

I never felt big that day. I did feel like a princess... with my prince who loves me no matter what. 

I am going to lose the rest of the weight I need to lose.

I am going to make sure that my kids never have to go through what I went through. I will make sure that they understand how to avoid that. I will help them LOVE their bodies... no matter what! 

I've already told my husband (who's already lost 60lbs) that we will be renewing our vows and I WILL be trying on dresses... even if I will be renting it for the day. I will be the beautiful bride (with only 1 chin) and I will be healthy!!

So to that obese mom with an obese child... I am thinking... Don't give up! You aren't alone and it's not impossible. To that mom in the spandex with an obese child... you need to find balance, and to that mom who appears to be "normal" and struggles everyday, just remember that it's a journey with ups and downs. As long as you love yourself and you teach your child to do the same, you can overcome anything!!

***BTW - Payton asked me the other night who that person was in the picture. The picture of me for my brothers wedding. That tells me that I'm still on the right path... and I am not going to give it up!

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Speed Bump

Yup, that's what we're calling it.

I had a little surgery yesterday. Nothing major... just had my gallbladder removed. Apparently, the procedure went well and I should be feeling better soon. BUT I was given the awful news of vigorous activity for 6wks. I talked the nurse down to 3-4wks based on pain, etc. But that still means we will be losing 21-28days from our 99 day challenge!

Thankfully, we kicked ass last week and managed to log 14miles in 7 days. If we get back into that rhythm when I'm cleared we should have no problem completing our "challenge"! It's just going to be more of a challenge.

So that gives you even more incentive to join us, right?? You can start now and let us know how your challenge is going. Remember we are doing this to help the Shepard's Pantry... we can't let them down! And heck, I'm not ready to let myself down.

We will be walking together. Plus I will be biking at home and Elizabeth will be jogging with a friend to keep up (but we aren't counting any miles until we can run together again). It's not too late to start!! Let us know how you doing :)

Right now, I'm under doctor's orders though... so nap time it is :)

Sunday, June 5, 2011

First Week - 99/100 Summer Run Challenge

Today was day 7 in the 99/100 Summer Run Challenge. That's right... one week down and 92 days left to go before Labor Day. We worked our butts off and logged 14 miles this week. That's almost twice what is required to meet our goal, but with surgery, camping trips, and the general unknowns, we are trying to get pretty ahead of the game to ensure victory over this challenge!

Here's our running map for today. It was actually not that bad. Elizabeth mentioned while we were walking home, that I didn't even grunt once! lmao. Yes, I literally run and say stuff like "AAAaaahhh" and "Ggrrrr". It's better than swearing, or even worse... walking, right?

Part of this journey is funny to me because I make a living getting people into shape. I am an Athletic Trainer. I am a Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist. I am also OUT OF SHAPE!! I hate to have to say that.

I hate that I worked so hard with a personal trainer and got pretty darn fit... and abandoned it. Why? Because it was hard! So now, I am working to get strong again. I am working to get in shape, and be happy, and make a difference.

I am DONE!

I am done settling because it's easier. I am going to start proving to myself that I am worth it and I am going to get this done.

Ok - before I do all that, I will go settle down with hubby and watch some tv and go to bed. I have surgery on Tuesday and figure by Thursday I should be ready to at least walk again. I am not going to let this be another excuse to throw in the towel.

Who else is going to step up to our challenge?? Come on, there are 92 days left and even if you are starting from the beginning, that's only a little over a mile a day. It's an easy challenge. You can do it with your kids. You can bike, walk, jog, swim, rollerblade... whatever! Just get moving and let me know how it's going.

Good luck!

Friday, June 3, 2011

Another amazing run

4 days of running and we have completed 11.2miles!! That's pretty good for chubby chicks, huh?? LMAO. Sorry, we were running today and a nice guy was walking. We passed him once and he said "Good Job, ladies". Then we crossed and went our separate ways. On the top of the hill, we met again and said "Looking good". To which I replied (under my breathe) to Elizabeth "AKA, wow, they're not dead yet" and she replied "Yeah. Or 'Not bad for 2 chubby chicks'". Love it!!

Sorry, the chub isn't going away, but I have no one to blame but myself. I will be getting my gallbladder out on Tuesday and started reading stuff about what my diet should look like following the procedure.

It's AWFUL!!!!

It says no ice cream, no chocolate, no cauliflower....

OK... so maybe I'm not upset about the cauliflower, but CHOCOLATE and ICE CREAM!?! That's like wiping out 2 Food Groups?? No??

So I quickly texted (I'm not sure if that's a word, but I'm using it!) my hubby and had him bring me ice cream. He did NOT disappoint. He brought me home a pint of Ben and Jerry's Peanut Butter Cup ice cream. Uh huh, the worst possible ice cream for you! It has 4 servings in that little container with 24g of fat and 350 calories per serving... see... chub is sticking around for a while. BUT I made him share it. hehe. 

Funny thing is, after eating that I had a little stomach discomfort, that's it. If had eaten the non-fat cottage cheese in the fridge though, I would have been curled up into a little ball. Suspicious, that's all I have to say.

Anyway, so we ran again today and did 3 miles... after doing 3.1 miles yesterday! Yay :) We are trying to get some mileage in fast because I will be down and out for a couple of days and don't want to get behind. Remember 100 miles in 99 days... for a cause! We are raising money to donate to the local food pantry, The Shepard's Pantry! So if you would like to help us, please feel free to click the little donate button on the top side bar... any little bit counts :)

Also, it's not too late to join us! It's only 100 miles and there are still 94 days left which means you still only have to walk, jog, run, bike, swim, or scoot a little over a mile a day to complete the challenge by Labor Day... and feel amazing while doing it!!

So check out the information and join us for our 99/100 Summer Run Challenge! Yes, I think I caught Elizabeth's exclamation addiction today... hehe :)