Sunday, January 29, 2012

Hi Again

I know it's been forever since I've last written and most people have probably left and forgotten about me completely. I understand. I've been trying to find me. Yes, you read that correctly... find ME!

This year has been the year of transitions. Have I ever mentioned that I do NOT like transitions?

I actually pretty much hate transitions.

I also LOVED what I did as a career. As unhealthy and strange as it sounds... being an Athletic Trainer was who I was.

I guess when you know what you want to do in elementary school and actually set out to do it... and succeed, that thing becomes a huge part of you. So, being an Athletic Trainer and a Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist was WHO I was.

I thought that I would still feel good becoming a Physical Education Instructor for the Regional High School in the area, but I felt lost. Then my amazing hubby ran for City Council and actually won the election to become a Ward Councilor for our city. Amazing, right?? Oh wait, so that means I'm also the wife of a politician.

hmmmm.... yeah. That was a little weird too.

Now, don't get me wrong, none of this was bad. It was ALL awesome! Except that I somehow lost ME!!

Seriously, what the hell?? How does that even happen??

Thanksgiving was very, very bad, as I had explained. I think that was my low. Well, not the day but the days following. The day that my brother text me from across the country to make sure I was OK and the time my mom sat me down to say she missed me (did I ever mention that she lives downstairs).

Well, I'm finally finding myself. I'm not perfect.

This stupid transition let me gain 21lbs! NOT cool!!

My husband made a comment a month or so ago and I keep picking on him. I was having trouble keeping things together. I would put laundry in the wash and forget about it. I would start the dishes and walk away and not think twice. I couldn't organize ANYTHING!! I kept apologizing for not doing things or forgetting to finish things and instead of getting upset or frustrated, he said "It's ok, Babe. Right now you just have a low threshold for responsibility".

He thought it was helping me. He figured putting it that way made it a temporary thing. I got angry... at first.

Now, I'm figuring out ways to increase my "threshold". I started working out again, and eating better and I even started taking a Stress B Complex Vitamin. Feeling more like myself. Getting confidence back.

Do you know the really weird thing. I never thought I HAD lost myself. I thought I was tired or hungry. I thought that it was the running around. I just "knew" it wasn't ME!!

Hopefully, things will continue to be on the up and up. I was gonna say wish me luck, but I don't think luck is going to cut it this time ;)